On Sunday night, one of my friends posted a memory on Facebook from 2011 of me with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth when I weighed around 215 pounds. I know that I got bigger because I went from a size 22 at 215 pounds to a size 24, but I refused to get on a scale after 215 pounds.
I had surgery five weeks ago, but I’m cleared by my doctor to start exercising again. That picture motivated me to get back to it with no excuses. After an extended time off, I’m tempted to put it off one more day. I can justify not going to the gym a hundred different ways. The house needs to be deep cleaned. Maybe I’m not really ready. I need a day off because I spent so much time cleaning the basement and setting up a studio down there on Sunday. I have math homework to finish. There are books that I want to read…
I can make a list of excuses a mile long that usually begin with the thought that I’ll do it tomorrow. One of my favorite books, The Art of War by Steven Pressfield, has a quote that motivates me about the tomorrow that never gets here.
Procrastination is the most common manifestation of Resistance because it’s the easiest to rationalize. We don’t tell ourselves, “I’m never going to write my symphony.” Instead we say, “I am going to write my symphony; I’m just going to start tomorrow.
In my case, it’s not about writing a symphony. It’s about creating the life that I want to live. Fear is the biggest deterrent to not getting back on track. It’s not only the fear of not going back, but not being able to perform at the same level. I know that isn’t true. It might take a little bit of time to build back up to where I was at before the surgery, but I will get there.
The only thing that matters is that I show up, workout, and make a commitment to my health. I am a fit person, but when I’ve been away for a while, even I get intimidated by going to the gym. It’s a natural, normal reaction, but that will never stop me.